Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
