i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
