If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I just forgot I was standing up.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
