I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
