I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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