My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
