I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
