is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
