I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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