i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
