I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
