Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Randomize
