Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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