Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
