I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
