I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
