Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
