Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
