isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
