standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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