I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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