You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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