he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Randomize
