So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
