have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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