you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
A bitchslap is in order.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
