and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Randomize
