After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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