K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
too bad you live with your parents still
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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