Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
