Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
