I need help removing her.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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