hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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