I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
