yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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