So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
