I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
