for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
