I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
