just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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