Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
