just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
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