i just wanna soil my oats bro
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
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