She's JV to your varsity
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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