remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
