I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
