history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
