It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize
