I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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