why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Randomize
