Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
